Harry Potter gets a job
by JulyPie
Summary: The dark Lord is dead and the Wizarding world is at peace again. So Harry and Ron begin job searching, but what opportunities are available for two boys who never finished school? One shot.


**This goes out to TeamVampire; I recommend her work, who is responsible for this idea.**

Harry Potter, having defeated the Dark Lord on several occasions, was finally free of the pressure of saving the world, due to his adversary being permanently disposed of. He was free to be with the girl he loved, free to enjoy his time with his friends, free to live his life. And now, it was time for harry Potter, the boy who lived, to get a job. But what as? Surely the world was his oyster. He may not have completed his education but surely his life experience would supplement his lack of official qualifications. Yet, when he considered his options, he felt like going back to a comfortable, familiar place, and discovered that the Defence against the Dark Arts position at Hogwarts was once again open.

Harry sat down with his application form, feeling hopeful. Perhaps his fame would come in handy for once. He filled in his details and read over the questions:

'Please list your O.W.L and N.E.W.T exam results' Harry filled in the box, did the fact that he had no N.E. matter? Surely not, allowances can be made surely.

'What experience have you had in this field? Do you have any particular strengths' Where to start? Should he include the scar origin story? Did he really need to? Better be professional about it.

'Due to sacrifice of mother was able to deflect the killing curse, with aid from associates was able to prevent Voldemort from acquiring the philosophers stone, destroyed several horcruxes, killed a Basilisk, participated in the Triwizard cup and thus escaped Voldemorts clutches again, led illegal defence club during 'the Umbridge year', in addition to other face-offs with Voldemort. Proficient in the Patronus Charm' that would do, didn't want to come across as braggy.

A small woman exited from the office, looked at a list on her scroll

"Harry Potter?" she read off. Harry raised his hand, and looking a little flustered, the witch showed him into the office and showed him to his seat.

"Mr. Potter I realise that this may not be the best time but I would just like to say, well, I think you're just such a swell guy."

"Err, thank you, well wish me luck" the young witch nodded enthusiastically in agreement. She exited from the office and Harry was soon joined by a friendly looking young lady holding a clipboard.

"Hello Mr. Potter, my name is July Pie; you may call me Miss Pie. I will be conducting your interview today, although I think we both know your skill in this subject. Harry smiled at her, it was looking good.

Miss Pie glanced over her glasses to see her clipboard; she looked confused for a moment then said:

"I'm terribly sorry but you have not included your newt grades"

"That is because I did not sit my newt exams"

"Excuse me?"

"Well that was the year I was searching for Horcruxes so as you can..." he was cut off by the friendly looking interviewer

"You mean have no qualifications"

"Well if I could direct you to my previous experience at the subject"

"Experience can only get you so far Mr. Potter; we don't let just anyone teach the next generation of witches and wizards"

"If I recall Mr Gilderoy Lockhart held the position for a time" Harry said a little annoyed

"Yes, I don't see the relevance"

"Well, bless him, but he was an imbecile"

"Let us not get petty, Professor Lockhart was at one time considered one of the greatest wizards of our time" replied Miss Pie

"Yes but then he turned out to be a pompous fraud" Miss Pie sighed and lay her papers down on her desk.

"Harry, may I call you Harry?" she asked but did not wait for an answer "there is no need to involve your negative personal opinions about anyone. Surely you can appreciate the emotional turmoil that such harsh accusations can cause an individual"

"Look, I realise we have to be professional about this but I think we both know what kind of person Lockhart was"

"Mr. Potter if you wish to begin smear campaigns against innocent wizards perhaps you should apply for a position at the Daily Prophet"

"Ok, I apologise for my outburst, but I really feel I'm qualified for the job"

"Harry I admire your ambition but you cannot escape your lack of education"

"Well I have first hand experience with Dark Magic and am familiar with tactics that Dark Wizards use. As you have read I led a defence club and so I have some teaching experience..."

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter I appreciate your personal achievements but you are simply under qualified" Miss Pie began to look slightly perturbed.

All his life he had been known as the boy who lived, famous, everyone knew him and a lot of the time he received special treatment because of it. Unwanted attention was his constant companion. He had been praised by millions, and hated by just as many at one point or another. He had shared a mind link with the Dark Lord, he had met he who must not be named more times than he had cared to mention. He had lost count of his injuries and near death experiences. On one occasion he had actually been to an after life of some description. And the one time he had hoped his popularity would help him, he wanted people to remember his achievements, he was pronounced as 'under qualified' that was just plain cheeky in his opinion.

"Sorry, but do you know who I am?"

"Mr. Potter" Miss Pie returned to her formal address of Harry "I do not appreciate your attempt to use your fame to acquire a position here. I am sorry you were unsuccessful but I wish you luck in your future job searches"

"I've got half a mind to..."

"Good afternoon Mr. Potter. If it were up to me you would get the job in an instant, but it's not up to me. I heard that WizDonalds were looking for servers if you're interested." She stood up and gestured to the door. It would appear the interview was over. Harry exited, muttering angrily to himself. After Harry exited, July Pie sighed "Shame" she said to herself

"How did it go?" asked Ginny as Harry entered the house.

"I didn't get it. I'm under qualified apparently"

"What? Did she know who you were?"

"Yes"

"But you..."

"I know."

Harrys job search had not gone much better than the first interview. And now, he was forced to do something unspeakable, do a job that would take overshadow his achievements and brand him for life. He would have to be a performing magician.

"Hello Mr. Potter. I am Miss Vampire. I understand you are interested in our magicians position."

Harry sighed. "Yes" he said through pursed lips. She smiled at him "biscuit?" she said, offering him a plate of said food.

"No thank you" he replied, only just restraining his rage.

"Well I've taken a look at your form and you seem to have all the requirements necessary. But let's be honest, you don't need a lot of qualifications for this job." She laughed nervously, he did not laugh at all.

"You will be going around schools mostly, you're just starting out after all and the kids are pretty easy to please. A rabbit and a handkerchief up the sleeve usually does the trick." She smiled at him. He glared at her. She grew slightly nervous.

"If you follow me you can get your uniform"

"Uniform?"

"Of course, the usual stuff. Top hat, cape and of course a wand."

"I have a wand"

"Weeell, it isn't quite the style of wand we usually use but for because you're you I'll let you away with it."

"What kind of wand do you usually use?" he asked sceptically

"Well the black one with the white tip is the traditional model" Harry flinched at the mention of the cliché wand.

"Now guys we have a treat for you today" announced Mr. Whoop Whoop to the class "You're getting a magician for this period," he picked up a piece of paper from the desk and read it aloud "Ladies and Gentlemen be prepared for the amazing, Harrydini and his beautiful assistant" Mr Whoop Whoop paused and looked confused, then continued "his beautiful assistant, Ron"

Before entering the class, Harry, in his uniform turned to his best friend and said to him:

"Look Ron thanks for taking the job with me"

"It's nothing to do with you mate, no one would take me either. And you took the last magicians job so this is what I'm left with" said Ron, gesturing to his own heavily sequined uniform. Bracing themselves for humiliation, they entered the classroom.

"Hey kids! My name is Harrydini!" Harrydini exclaimed "first things first I need a volunteer" an eager young lady raised her hand immediately, stretching her hand as far as it would go.

"You young lady, what is your name?" Harrydini's face was growing sore from the required smile

"Crazy Kate"

"Ok Crazy Kate, will you kindly stand here?" harrydini gestured to the middle fo the room. She eagerly skipped over and stood, bouncing with the excitement.

"Ok kids, prepare to be amazed!" Harrydini unveiled his wand and said loudly and clearly "Levicorpus!" Crazy Kate began levitating in mid air by her ankle, squeeling with delight. Ron looked vervously at harrydini, and hissed:

"Harry, that's not part of the show"

"C'mon Ron, we both know we can be more entertaining than pulling a rabbit out of a hat"

"We don't want to get fired on the first job Harry" But Harry ignored his friend and continued to levitate the ecstatic student. The class, who had not expected much, were delighted with the show, and Mr. Whoop Whoop, although slightly concerned about the students safety, found it all very entertaining and promised to book them again next year.

"How did it go?" asked Ginny and Hermione simultaneously

"Fine" Harry and Ron aswered in the same manner

"Did they like you?" asked Hermione

"Yes" answered Ron

"Did you enjoy it?" asked Ginny

Harry took a few moments to respond and finally answered "Yes" Ron was about to disagree, but then he realised he had in fact rather enjoyed himself and nodded in agreement.

"And the pay is actually pretty good, they were pretty glad to have a fmaous face so they want to hold on to me" said harry, beginning to really come around to the idea of this as a career. Ginny and Hermione glanced at each other. Then Hermione said:

"Well, if you're happy then we're happy" and the two couples went out to celebrate, and as they were walking down the street the spotted Draco Malfoy, who pointed. Laughed and shouted:

"SLAG! Harrydini and his lovely assisstant Ron!!!!!"

"Ron?" said Harry

"Yes Harry"

"I think we should go back to school"

"I agree. Let's go now" and the left to finish their education.


End file.
